My journey of straying to the dark side...

June 17, 2010 - the day I flew back to Edmonton with no plan in mind. I was  20 at the time and my dad picked me up from the airport. It was my first time back in Edmonton since 2004 where I had no end goal in mind meaning I had no plans on getting back on a plane to go to religious boarding school. My dad was happy to see me but wasn't too happy to see me wearing jeans. Jeans were always a no-go in the religious world I grew up in as they represented something a dignified person shouldn't wear. I still remember the first pair of jeans I bought, I actually got a adrenaline-high just knowing that I was doing something forbidden and so terrible and purchasing denim. (Random fun fact, my last name "Drelich" in Polish means denim or some fabric related to denim). 

(Picture above: One of the earliest photos of me with jeans, feeling pretty bad ass).

I've always been someone who enjoyed "tasting the forbidden fruit" so here's a list of some of the things I really enjoyed doing once I dropped the religious masquerade and actually started living my life. Next to each one, I'll include a song I like that relates to that specific item.

1. Non-Kosher Food

I grew up in a kosher home which meant only kosher meat, (no pork) and kosher fish (no shrimp or lobster). It'll take a whole other blog post to explain what kosher is, but growing up, I was always temped in the supermarket by what "lay on the other side". One of the first things I enjoyed right when I stopped being religious was Subway when I was 20. My friend and I would go all the time but we'd have to sneak out of the house because while my parents knew that I wasn't religious, the feeling I got was that in their mind I was still religious so I had to play the part to a degree. The first time I had lobster wouldn't come until much later when I was in Newport Beach, CA hanging with my friend. I never really understood the hangup of lobster until I tried it there. the lemon juice and melted butter on the side....I'm salivating as I write this.....ok, let's end on a sweet note.

Warrant - Cherry Pie

(Picture: Me eating lobster for the first time at the age of 25 in Newport Beach - freak en heavenly).

2. Music & TV

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to listen to non-religious music, read non-religious books or watch TV shows. This obviously included listening to the radio which is ironic seeing as this is the career-path I chose.  Anything that could cause my mind to think "impure thoughts" or stray me from the path of holiness was a no-go. Even as a kid, I had a bit of a rebellious streak in me. I would listen to Oilers games (which I wasn't allowed to go to - took a long time for me to get over that) on 630 CHED from a walkman that I had won at an after-school program. I would listen with one headphone in my ear and the other, I would be listening to see if my parents were coming into the room to check up on me while I was "sleeping". I donated that walkman to Value Village 3 months ago. I started watching movies "religiously" when I was in religious school in Baltimore. I saved up a $250 and bought an 80GB iPod Classic from Radio Shack. I then gave my iPod to a friend who had another friend who had movies on his laptop and was able to load up movies for me which I would watch every night before bed. Amongst the movies on that iPod were: The Prestige, Two For The Money and A New York Minute. Yea a very eclectic taste, mind you. When I was younger and living at home, I couldn't do sleepovers at my friends because they watched movies. It got to a point where I would just straight up lie to my parents and assure them that I wouldn't watch movies when I went for sleepovers. Come to think of it now, I lied like hell to my parents as a kid. I lied so freak en much it became second nature. I lied that I had done my daily prayers, I lied that I had done my daily studying. I lied that I only ate the proper food I was supposed to, I lied that I waited the appropriate amount of time between eating meat and drinking milk. I lied that I fasted on days that I was supposed to.....maybe that's where my trust issues stem from? With that being said, here's a song about TV I always like jamming out to:

The Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star 

(Picture above: Me just a few days ago in my natural habitat at the radio station. The music I wasn't allowed to listen to growing up is now the music I play for other people. How terrible of me)!

3. Shaving

This has always been a weird one for me. The rule in the religious sect I grew up in was - no shaving. Beards grew as is and there was no trimming or touching the beard in any way. I was really annoyed by this because in my teenage years, beards were really itchy and not very in style. It also didn't help that my beard grew in unevenly and wasn't really digging the disheveled homeless vibe. In fact, I used to sneak into the bathroom at school from time to time just to trim my goatee and say I cut my beard which pretty much guaranteed me an all-expenses paid, first class flight to hell for my heinous crime. The first time I properly shaved, I did a terrible job. I used a razor and cream and left stubble all over myself. I decided to leave a bit of a goatee. You're also not supposed to touch your eyebrows but I had a uni-brow by the time I was 15 and had no intention of keeping it that way so I developed this nervous habit of picking my uni-brow so much that even till today the hairs their don't grows as much as they normally used to. My beard doesn't grown evenly now so it's hard to decide if I like it clean shaven or with a bit of stubble. Oh joy! This song has nothing to do with shaving but I like listening to it when I'm shaving.

Umami - Seven Days 

(Picture above: Me at the age of 18 at my friends house, that was about as big as my beard got before I shaved it off...yay)!

4. Saturdays

Saturday is the best day of the week. It's sandwiched right in the middle of the weekend and it's the perfect time to get things done but growing up religious, Saturday was the "day of rest". No electronic usage of any kind. no flipping on or off lights. NO heating up food. No TV (Not that we watched it anyway). You get the idea. I was actually kicked out of school once for watching a movie on my laptop on Saturday. True story! Saturday's revolved around prayer and spending time with family but spending time with family usually meant studying and more prayers with family which sucks! Saturdays became a love/hate thing for me and even till today when I drive to my parents home on Saturday, I park around the block so they don't have to see me pull up in a car on Sabbath.

Elton John - Saturday Nights Alright For Fighting  - You knew, I'd pick this one! I'd actually love to see Elton John live one day. 

(Picture above: I drove all Saturday from Vancouver to Calgary only to get stuck on the highway, driving on Saturday and playing the guitar, how am I going to explain my way out of this one.....yeaaaaa)!

5. Girls 

What's not to like?! As a kid growing up, I had a crush on a certain girl in school just like any other school boy.  (I only started going to an all-boys school in grade 9). It was an obvious no-brainer that I wasn't allowed to talk to girls or associate with girls in any way. The only time I was allowed to talk to girls would be when I was preparing to get married. Glad I got out of that trajectory. Next thing I know, my religious friends are getting married and churning out like 10 babies. (No, joke I'm actually angry typing this right now. to each their own, I guess). When I was in the all-boys school, there were 3 kids that were suspended from the school because they said hello to some girls that were passing by - true story. "Taking care of yourself" to relieve the stress was also forbidden because according to the bible. it's like killing kids. Now come on, what kind of f*cked up twisted sh*t is that?! Why would you even make a bible that's impossible to keep in the first place. I don't care how holy your rabbi/priest is. every guy in the world INCLUDING your rabbi/priest is taking care of business, it's how the world operates. When I was in Baltimore, I wasn't allowed to hang out with my female cousin, when I visited New York, I wasn't allowed to stay over at my cousins place if my female cousins were there.  I wasn't allowed to stay in synagogue after prayers for the meal because girls were there and I might mingle with them when I eat, the list goes on and on. When I finally dropped religion, I started hanging out with girls through friends although I had absolutely no idea what to say or how to talk to girls. It was almost like I was doing something wrong and I'd have to look both ways to make sure no one was looking. Girls were the forbidden fruit and if you watched me on the live feeds on Big Brother, you know how much I like fruit. 

We'll have to go into another post about my first kiss.....In the meanwhile, here's an absolute barn burner of a tune.

The 1975 - Girls 

(Picture above: one of the earliest pictures of me hanging out with girls, whoaaaa)!

I'll catch you next week, hopefully it'll be a more positive blog.

Cheers!
Mark D
IG: TheMarkDShow

Uncovering my checkered past?!

That title is kind of clickbait but also has a tad of truth. My childhood revolved around black and white - the colours of the clothes I wore. 

I grew up in a religious household. I wasn't allowed to do a lot of things kids our age like to do. I couldn't watch movies, listen to music, listen to the radio (ironic as I am a radio show host), read books (unless they were of religious nature). I couldn't go to little league and play sports because it was co-ed boys and girls. My parents wanted me to hang out with kids of the same faith so they sent me to Jewish school, however, these kids weren't religious so I couldn't go hang out at their houses and have sleepovers because those kids would watch movies. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents very much, but I wish I was able to do these fun things as a kid. 

(Photo below: When I was 9, my parents sent me to Montreal for summer camp to hang around other religious kids. I went for 1 month. See if you can figure out which one I am in this black and white photo).

(This picture was taken back in 2007, I am in the middle row, 2nd from left). Don't let the white shirt fool you, I wasn't feeling any of these vibes.)

(Bottom Picture: Here I am being tested by a rabbi to earn my rabbinical certification, pretty crazy if you think about the hypocrisy of the whole situation, whatever I was just going through the motions).

A good chunk of my childhood had revolved around, "no you can't do this, no, you can't do that". Here's the thing though, I'm a natural born rebel insofar as I have no problem respecting authority if I feel and can believe that the respect is earned. The issue was, throughout my years studying in religious school, I never once felt like that was earned by any of my rabbis/teachers. Obviously, I can't speak badly about all of them, there were definitely some nice people but if I couldn't respect myself respecting the fact that I was in a religious school to learn, how could I respect the people representing it?!

(I never went to high-school. The religious school wasn't accredited so when I wanted to go to college, I had to start all over. This is me on my bed studying for my GED. It took me a year to study and I ended up taking the test and passing).

My parents sent me to religious school in Toronto and Baltimore. The school was intense - very, very intense. I studied biblical stuff from 7:30am - 9:30pm at night. I stayed in a dorm of 25 guys with 1 working bathroom. The school also ran for virtually the entire year and there was no math, science or any secular studies. Technically, I didn't even go to high school. It wasn't until I was 19 that I bought a GED book and studied every single night for a year at which point I took the test and passed. It was a an all-boys school, we weren't allowed to talk to girls or have technology of any kind as it could corrupt our minds. We were only allowed to listen to approved religious music on music players that the school owned. We had to wear a white button down shirt and black jacket every day and if our shirt was untucked, it was a $2 fine. (I think I racked up about $10 in fines throughout my time there). 

Since, I didn't like the school or the studies, I would just aimlessly sit inside class each day doing nothing but counting down the days until the end of the school year and every day meant one day closer to being out of the miserable environment that was religion. Daydreaming scenarios of breaking free from the shackles of this "oppressive regime" would wander into my mind daily. From 2004 - 2008, I spent my entire life counting down day, but I didn't even know what I was counting down till. I was just counting down.

(Top photo: This is a family photo at my brothers wedding in Milwaukee circa. Jan. 2013. When I was religious, I was never allowed to shave or even trim my beard. One of the first things to do that really excited me was going clean shaven. I was still rebellious in this photo and refused to wear a black hat). 

(Bottom Photo: I cooled down the rebellion a tad and wore a hat. Still no beard though. This is at my brothers wedding in NY circa. Sept. 2017).

Finally on a chilly spring day in Baltimore back in 2008 when I was 18 years old,  I had, had about enough. I was sick and tired of studying in religious school and going through the motions that I thought were a bunch of BS. I wanted to live a regular teenage life and talk to girls, listen to music, watch late night movies and sneak in an occasional beer. (I was 18 in America so I still couldn't drink then). I called up my dad and told him simply, "I don't want to be religious any more". Surprisingly, he was calm about the whole situation but very sad.  We had a long chat about the reasons why we're religious and why this was the best way of life blah blah blah. I wasn't interested  in listening but at least happy I could get that off of my chest. From that point onward though, my whole mentality in life changed. Instead of trying to hide things from my parents, I felt like I could just tell them what was on my mind and be more upfront with them. 

It's been 12 years since then and a lot has happened that I'll share on this blog throughout the coming weeks. We'll talk about starting all over again in life with a new set of friends, a last ditch attempt from my parents to get me to become religious and being inducted into the world I was always so excited to see but never had a chance, the world of movies and music. 

To be fair, even when I was in Toronto for those 3 years from 2004 - 2007, my friend was able to sneak in a music player and I was able to listen to some "regular music". Here are some of the songs that have me throwback to my first days of leaving religion.

1. Jesse McCartney - Right Where You Want Me 

"Crazy, let's do something maybe, please don't take your time, you got me right where you want me"

This was one of my earliest "signs of rebellion" songs. My friend snuck in a music player to my school in Toronto and this was one of the songs that was on there. It would take another few years before I was introduced into the beautiful world of alt-rock but this song was a nice bumping pop track to listen to before my head hit the pillow each night. Till today, I still have a special place in my musical ottoman for Jesse McCartney. His music was my foray into the secular world of music and I'll never forget that. 

2. Toby Keith - God Love Her 

"She's a rebel child and a preachers daughter, she was baptized in dirty water"

A good portion of my childhood was spent in Alberta - so yea I'm a bit of a country boy. I don't have overalls, don't wear camo and don't go revvin' it up on my 4x4 on the weekends but a little country music here and there always tickles my fancy. I heard this song on the radio and fell in love with it. I loved the rebelliousness of the song too.

3. Rihanna - Disturbia

"so if you falter, you must be wise, your mind is in disturbia"

My first official job was when I was 18 years old. I worked for a summer at a meat plant in Postville, Iowa - population 1000. I worked like 12 hour days but made a fair bit of coin which was nice because they put me up in a house and I didn't really have any expenses. It was during this time that Rihanna's Disturbia was playing all over the radio and I fell in love with this song. 

I feel like I've shared a lot in this post. A lot that I don't normally share with many people. With that being said, next Monday will be another post opening up the curtain that covers my past.

Cheers!
Mark D
Website: TheMarkDShow

Finding my reality after Reality TV

Hey you!

Lately it's been harder for me to come up with good blog posts. I recently started podcasting about Big Brother and that is occupying up a good chunk of my time. 

(Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually having the time of my life and I'm literally falling in love with podcasting but there's still so many hours in a day).

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I was in that Big Brother house. I spent like 6 years trying to get on the show and always fell short. Finally, season 7 came around and when I got the call that I made it on, I was beyond elated.

Let's back-track a little, when I got the call that there was a good chance I would be on the show for season 7, I was half asleep in a hut in the middle of Vang Vieng, Laos. I got an email from the casting producer in LA and I was told that there was no way they were going to fly me to Toronto from the middle of Nowheresville, Laos and that I needed to come back home. 

(Picture #1: Waiting for a tiny boat to take me to Nong Khiaw, that wooden slat behind me is the "ramp to get to the boat).

(Picture #2 - Overlooking the Mekong River at a lookout point in Luang Prabang).

(Picture #3 - Hanging out with some friends I made at the Kuang Si Waterfalls near Luang Prabang).

(Picture #4 - Me hanging out with Itay at a rollerskating disco in San Francisco called Church of 8 Wheels. It's an old church they redesigned into a disco).

 I was kind of torn, as much as I loved Big Brother - I wasn't done traveling - I still had Vietnam and Cambodia to check off of my list and my "journey of finding myself" was just beginning. After some thought and "soul-searching", I decided to end my trip in Laos. After taking 4 planes and spending 48 hours of Christmas in 4 different airports, Luang Prabang to Bangkok to Hong Kong to Los Angeles to San Francisco, I was finally back in the USA where I spent some time with my best friend Itay. After a few days in SF, I flew back to Edmonton on December 31, 2018 where I hung out at home before my life would change forever as I knew it.

Link: My Big Brother Bio 

(Picture - Me hosting the OLG Lottery Veto Competition in the Big Brother house. This was a fun one to host).

Big Brother doesn't make you famous, that's for sure. However, it definitely puts you under a lot of intense scrutiny for the time you're in the house and for a few months after the show. It's the kind of scrutiny that evokes a lot of pain because of the type of situation you're put in. The whole idea of the game is to make it to the end without being evicted from the house. During this time you will have to lie pathologically to other people and you never know who is telling you the truth and who is lying. This takes a toll on your mental state slowly throughout the game. Personally, I never had experienced anxiety in my life until after Big Brother. It's so hard to explain the feeling of vulnerability and helplessness you're exposed to once you leave the show. It's as if someone ripped open your soul, and just left you standing there alone. (I'll be talking more in detail about this in an episode of my podcast with Nick Maccarone of Big Brother 21 - episode to be released soon, see below for the link). 

It also didn't help that right after the show, I didn't have a plan of action of what I wanted to do next in my life. I had left a fun, well paying job in radio before I went traveling to take on the the no-commitment, carefree lifestyle. Once I quit, I wen traveling around the world for 2 years straight and was very much enjoying my vagabond lifestyle. in fact, if it wasn't for Big Brother I would probably still be traveling now. Once the show was over though, everything came to a crashing halt, I felt washed up and useless when things were all said and done because I had no game plan of what to do next. Luckily for me, my mother noticed what I was going through and being the wonderful, kind and compassionate woman she is, she took me on a trip outside Canada for a bit to decompress. It was then that my old employer called me and said they needed me to help be a tour guide in the USA for the summer.  I jumped on the opportunity to make some money and keep myself busy, and looking back, I found this to be the best therapy ever. Traveling around the States enabled me to be my normal self once again and not be "this guy that was on Big Brother". While the rest of my cast was enjoying their "summer of fame", I was back to being invisible in America. OK, I actually got recognized a few times in Vegas but only by Canadians....oh and once in LA. 



(My passengers wouldn't let this one down and razzed me about it for the rest of the trip. BB fans in The Cosmopolitan, Las Vegas).
Funny story, my very last tour, my passengers were joking around with me being on Big Brother and they wanted to know how famous I was. I told them that the show was over and that we were in America and nobody really cared. As soon as I said that, 2 big brother fans who were visiting from Canada came over to say hi!

Then there was the fact that I found solace in music. Those long sleepless nights were spent listening to music that would calm me down and help keep me grounded. Here are some of my favourite tunes that helped me stay zen:

1. Pink Floyd - Hey You

"Hey you, out there on your own sitting naked by the phone" 

Fun Fact, I once had a girl message me on Bumble, "Hey you" and I immediately responded, "...out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone". She immediately deleted and blocked me....oh well, jokes on her for now knowing this song! Something about listening to Pink Floyd puts you in a psychedelic trance. It also helps to have an edible right before ;). 

2. Bob Marley - Three Little Birds 

"cause every little thing is gonna be alright..."

After the show was over, I held a fair bit of resentment against some of my fellow house-guests and I didn't like it. I didn't want to be one that held grudges and harbour anger towards people so I listened to this song to help keep me in check.

3. Mary Epworth - Me Swimming 

"..and I say, Look! It's me swimming"

In an earlier post of this blog, I talked a bit about this song and how I first heard it in Paris at some random speakeasy. There's something about this tune, just lying in bed after a long day and closing your eyes while you listen to this song with noise cancelling headphones. I found that when I listened to this tune, I would suddenly stop caring about the pain I felt on the inside and how I felt about those certain house-guests.

4. Bob Seger - Night Moves

"In The Summertime, Sweet, Sweet Summertime". 

I spent a lot of time in solitude this past summer, which gave me time to think and reflect on my life. Those long days spent on the busses with my passengers sleeping in the back would give me time to listen to this song. I found the melody to be very therapeutic and allowed me to be at peace with myself. 

Next Monday, another blog post about the fun little life of "yours truly". 

In the meantime, for all you Big Brother fans, make sure to check out my podcast, I spit the truth and meaningful sh*t.

Link: The Mark D Show Podcast 

See you next week!

Mark D

IG: TheMarkDShow

Transformation is real

 You wanna hear a random fun fact about me? I've popped my shoulder out 19 times in my life. yea 19, that's insane - so insane that my doctor when he finally fixed my shoulder said it was one of the weakest shoulders he had ever seen. 

(Picture above: I had to put my shirt back on in Koh Lanta as it was getting chilly. You can probably play where's waldo with my muscles, there simply is none. Verdict: Super self conscious).

(Picture Below: I had a lot of fun at the Kuang Si Waterfalls in Laos but I still look about as thick as a swizzle stick. Verdict: If i'm not going to be ripped, at least get a tan).

From 2010 - 2013, there wasn't really much I could do in the way of sports. It could be as simple as rolling over in bed, reaching for my seat belt or just throwing a ball the wrong way, my shoulder would pop out. Eventually, it got to a point where I had to get surgery. Funny enough, even after the surgery, my shoulder continued to pop out at which point, I got another surgery, this one really did a number on me though. Till today, I can't stretch my left shoulder the same way I can with my right. I struggle doing pull ups and overhead-tricep exercises cause my shoulder to feel like it's going to pop again. During this time, I wasn't working out and was super skinny - I was very self conscious with my body. (You'll be hard pressed to find a lot of pics of me with my shirt off).

Even for a long time after my 2nd surgery, I was scared to really push myself in the gym. Coupled with the fact that I traveled for 3 years straight from January 2017 - January 2020, I didn't really make time to properly work out.

(Here's a video of me at The French Riviera in Nice, France back in 2017, you can see how skinny I was and yes, I was very self conscious about my little shoulders). 

Finally at the end of 2019, I sort of snapped out of my misery of looking like an emaciated porcelain doll and decided to hit the gym under the guidance of my friend Adam Pike and his East Coast Shredz Workout. I'm 12 weeks in and I'm feeling like I'm in the best shape of my life. 

(I had fun hanging with my best friend Itay in Thailand at the end of 2018 but  the only flabby muscle I see are my moobs - yay. I'm on the left if you're visually challenged). 

(Picture Below - I went to Israel right before I went to Thailand at the end of 2018 and hung out on the beach. Looking at this picture, I don't even know if I'm 3 dimensional, yea I was rockin' a full beard.).

Here's some of the songs that keep me pushing as hard as I can in the gym. Songs that inspired me to push past my limitations and turn me into what I look like now. Let's not fool anyone though, I got a long way to go but I WILL get there. 

(These 2 photos are of me at around the 8 week mark of working out, I was actually pretty happy with these pics as I had never been this muscular in my life before).

1. Disturbed - Stupify

Do you want your adrenaline to soar to level 3000? This is the song for you - this song will get you pissed off at everyone and everything around you, you'll be in so much rage, it'll be a workout just trying to calm down. I wonder if David Draiman listened to this track when he threw his schoolmate out the window at the gym. (The kid threw a 25lbs plate at him, he kinda deserved it). 

2. Drowning Pool - Bodies 

Apparently, this song was used to torture inmates at Guantanamo Bay. The guards would play it over and over to annoy people and not give them any sleep. Honestly, if you wanna get hyped up, this is the tune for you. I know it works for me. 

(This picture of me is around the 10 week mark. For some reason, my traps like to build up at lightning speed while my chest is slower than the 401 during rush hour - Toronto reference).

3. Three Days Grace - Riot 

I like to listen to this track right before I hit the bench press. There's something about envisioning myself in a jail, forcing myself to just break out and smash everyone and everything in my way and channeling that energy into bench pressing beyond my natural limits. 

(Ok, now we're talking! This picture of me was taken at the beginning of the 12 week mark. I'm starting to see some results. The lower picture is around the 11 week mark. Notice the difference between the first back picture and now)!

4. Muse - Psycho

This is a fun one because I actually saw Muse live in Melbourne back at the end of 2017. When this song came on, the whole crowd went absolutely mental and the whole row in front of me was just freaking out. I think it's this energy that has me fueled up every time I hear it.

5. Jay Z/Linkin Park - Points of Authority/99 Problems/One Step Closer 

Collision Course was an awesome album. Every collab song between the 2 was a home-run in my opinion. If I had to choose any off of that album though, it would be this one. 

My final words to you: Keep pushing, good things will happen! I never thought I could get to where I am now but with good work ethic and by eating right, here I am. If you want to look like this, you can and you will. Hit up Adam Pike on Instagram - @adampikefitness and he'll change your life, I can guarantee you that.

Cheers!
Mark D
IG: themarkdshow
My other social media links: linktr.ee/themarkdshow