Monday, February 10, 2020

Finding my reality after Reality TV

Hey you!

Lately it's been harder for me to come up with good blog posts. I recently started podcasting about Big Brother and that is occupying up a good chunk of my time. 

(Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually having the time of my life and I'm literally falling in love with podcasting but there's still so many hours in a day).

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I was in that Big Brother house. I spent like 6 years trying to get on the show and always fell short. Finally, season 7 came around and when I got the call that I made it on, I was beyond elated.


Let's back-track a little, when I got the call that there was a good chance I would be on the show for season 7, I was half asleep in a hut in the middle of Vang Vieng, Laos. I got an email from the casting producer in LA and I was told that there was no way they were going to fly me to Toronto from the middle of Nowheresville, Laos and that I needed to come back home. 

(Picture #1: Waiting for a tiny boat to take me to Nong Khiaw, that wooden slat behind me is the "ramp to get to the boat).

(Picture #2 - Overlooking the Mekong River at a lookout point in Luang Prabang).

(Picture #3 - Hanging out with some friends I made at the Kuang Si Waterfalls near Luang Prabang).

(Picture #4 - Me hanging out with Itay at a rollerskating disco in San Francisco called Church of 8 Wheels. It's an old church they redesigned into a disco).

 I was kind of torn, as much as I loved Big Brother - I wasn't done traveling - I still had Vietnam and Cambodia to check off of my list and my "journey of finding myself" was just beginning. After some thought and "soul-searching", I decided to end my trip in Laos. After taking 4 planes and spending 48 hours of Christmas in 4 different airports, Luang Prabang to Bangkok to Hong Kong to Los Angeles to San Francisco, I was finally back in the USA where I spent some time with my best friend Itay. After a few days in SF, I flew back to Edmonton on December 31, 2018 where I hung out at home before my life would change forever as I knew it.


(Picture - Me hosting the OLG Lottery Veto Competition in the Big Brother house. This was a fun one to host).

Big Brother doesn't make you famous, that's for sure. However, it definitely puts you under a lot of intense scrutiny for the time you're in the house and for a few months after the show. It's the kind of scrutiny that evokes a lot of pain because of the type of situation you're put in. The whole idea of the game is to make it to the end without being evicted from the house. During this time you will have to lie pathologically to other people and you never know who is telling you the truth and who is lying. This takes a toll on your mental state slowly throughout the game. Personally, I never had experienced anxiety in my life until after Big Brother. It's so hard to explain the feeling of vulnerability and helplessness you're exposed to once you leave the show. It's as if someone ripped open your soul, and just left you standing there alone. (I'll be talking more in detail about this in an episode of my podcast with Nick Maccarone of Big Brother 21 - episode to be released soon, see below for the link). 

It also didn't help that right after the show, I didn't have a plan of action of what I wanted to do next in my life. I had left a fun, well paying job in radio before I went traveling to take on the the no-commitment, carefree lifestyle. Once I quit, I wen traveling around the world for 2 years straight and was very much enjoying my vagabond lifestyle. in fact, if it wasn't for Big Brother I would probably still be traveling now. Once the show was over though, everything came to a crashing halt, I felt washed up and useless when things were all said and done because I had no game plan of what to do next. Luckily for me, my mother noticed what I was going through and being the wonderful, kind and compassionate woman she is, she took me on a trip outside Canada for a bit to decompress. It was then that my old employer called me and said they needed me to help be a tour guide in the USA for the summer.  I jumped on the opportunity to make some money and keep myself busy, and looking back, I found this to be the best therapy ever. Traveling around the States enabled me to be my normal self once again and not be "this guy that was on Big Brother". While the rest of my cast was enjoying their "summer of fame", I was back to being invisible in America. OK, I actually got recognized a few times in Vegas but only by Canadians....oh and once in LA. 



(My passengers wouldn't let this one down and razzed me about it for the rest of the trip. BB fans in The Cosmopolitan, Las Vegas).
Funny story, my very last tour, my passengers were joking around with me being on Big Brother and they wanted to know how famous I was. I told them that the show was over and that we were in America and nobody really cared. As soon as I said that, 2 big brother fans who were visiting from Canada came over to say hi!


Then there was the fact that I found solace in music. Those long sleepless nights were spent listening to music that would calm me down and help keep me grounded. Here are some of my favourite tunes that helped me stay zen:



"Hey you, out there on your own sitting naked by the phone" 


Fun Fact, I once had a girl message me on Bumble, "Hey you" and I immediately responded, "...out there on your own, sitting naked by the phone". She immediately deleted and blocked me....oh well, jokes on her for now knowing this song! Something about listening to Pink Floyd puts you in a psychedelic trance. It also helps to have an edible right before ;). 


"cause every little thing is gonna be alright..."

After the show was over, I held a fair bit of resentment against some of my fellow house-guests and I didn't like it. I didn't want to be one that held grudges and harbour anger towards people so I listened to this song to help keep me in check.


"..and I say, Look! It's me swimming"


In an earlier post of this blog, I talked a bit about this song and how I first heard it in Paris at some random speakeasy. There's something about this tune, just lying in bed after a long day and closing your eyes while you listen to this song with noise cancelling headphones. I found that when I listened to this tune, I would suddenly stop caring about the pain I felt on the inside and how I felt about those certain house-guests.

4. Bob Seger - Night Moves

"In The Summertime, Sweet, Sweet Summertime". 

I spent a lot of time in solitude this past summer, which gave me time to think and reflect on my life. Those long days spent on the busses with my passengers sleeping in the back would give me time to listen to this song. I found the melody to be very therapeutic and allowed me to be at peace with myself. 

Next Monday, another blog post about the fun little life of "yours truly". 

In the meantime, for all you Big Brother fans, make sure to check out my podcast, I spit the truth and meaningful sh*t.


See you next week!

Mark D





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